Optimist

 

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I don´t know if you have been feeling it also but, there´s something in the air… Challenges that are asking for the best of us, expansion is on it´s way. Yes, I am talking weird but what else can I do?

My last weeks have been full of challenges and a really deep understanding of myself has come to the surface. At the beginning I was amazed, confused… I thought Wow! I never saw the others clearer than today but the truth is that I never saw myself clearer than now. It´s scary. Many of the patterns that have been defining my life up to this point are so clear that I can´t do anything but see this as a huge opportunity to transcend them. For the first time I can see the purpose of my life in terms of the expansion of “my own” soul.

I always saw myself as an extremely contradictory person. I used to describe my “style” as a line moving in zig-zag between two parallel lines: Going from one extreme to the other was so natural for me, giving all or nothing. By paying these high energetic prices I was able to move forward towards my own spiritual and practical goals.

Actually: three weeks ago.
Years = three weeks ago.

I never fought against this tendency of mine because I actually did create a lot of amazing stuff. I used to just observed it and allowed it to show me what I thought it was important for me to understand that way: through the shock of contradiction, expecting that there was going to be a moment when I was going to be able to understand what was hiding behind…

Now it´s that time:

Cold becomes warm and warm becomes cold.

Weakness becomes strength.

Hell, heaven.

The extremism in the others helped me to crush my boat into my own harbor, understanding the reasons behind that way of being. Well, we know how much easier is to put things in perspective when they are outside of ourselves. Thank God for the others.

1520812_441528782639274_287793576_nNow, again, I am in the middle of a huge wave of changes where all my thoughts about life, death, love and self-love are in the blender: PRRRRMM!!! PRRRMMM!!!!

I feel that I failed in my most precious enterprise, extremely sad, broken and I saw myself as a coward. At the same time, I am going forward in my search of understanding; I feel hope and being broken feels like an opportunity. Uncertainty is my friend, the future seems at times black; sometimes, full of sunshine.

And there I go again: radicalism is in my DNA.

But there is something different now: I saw the comfort hiding behind my way of being; I realized how easy it was for me to go all the way or not make even one step at all. Now that comfort feels suspicious. Today, I don´t identify myself with any of those thoughts and feelings that are either up or down. I don´t identify myself with the sadness or the happiness. Now, I know I have the power to bring harmony to my life.

Now, I will invite the extremes to come towards each other…

Finding balance.

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Beginner.

Stay Open. Photo by Daniel Rönnback.
Stay Open. Photo by Daniel Rönnback. 2014, Chamonix Mont-Blanc, France.

One of the things I love about yogasana practice is what mister Iyengar clearly says: “I know the postures from yesterday but today I become a beginner.”

This is a huge challenge.

I like to think that what happens on my yoga mat is a reflex of the things that are happening outside of it. I feel it on the good things and also when a challenge appears.

The challenge of feeling like a beginner is important for me.

What I´ve learn through my yogasana practice is that, everyday I am dealing with a new version of myself. Everything changes constantly and if I forget about it, stagnates my practice immediately.

I love those days when I feel clean, fresh and new not only after the practice but before.

Those days when I am open to the adventure that I can see ahead of me and when, even though I know how to begin, I never know how it will end.

I love when I feel like I am open to find new ways to approach to the “problems” that the practice puts in front of me and that, instead of taking the regular way, I allow my self to experiment and create new points of view. I love when I feel creative. Makes me feel that I am growing.

One of the goals of the yoga practice is to go beyond our egos and, even though I am crushing with my ego constantly, I like to think that, when I feel inspire and creative I am going further in my experience of myself re defining my own limits because, rather than undergo regular mental processes -that do nothing but to strengthen the ego- I can find a new way of dealing with myself, my “problems” and my experience.

It´s beautiful because keeps me humble in front of the beauty and it´s not only my mind that opens, it is my body and my heart also.

Circadian rhythm sleep disorder or… Jet Lag.

Reality during the day.
Reality during the day.

Oh my God.

I have not been able to sleep well since I came back from Chile. I think that I have been sleeping something around 10 hours in total during the last four days.

I never had a Jet Lag like this before – and I can understand that idea that it´s easy to get crazy if you don´t get enough sleep-. It´s not that I´m dying but I am in a super-duper low energy mode with, reality, during the day, looking like a dream and, during the night, looking like something really hard to handle with.

But, since I´m a positive person and I see every crisis as an opportunity, I have been learning some very interesting things about how to deal with your yoga practice when you are jet lagged. Here you have my observations:

  • First of all (this might sound obvious but I think sometimes obvious things are the easiest to forget): Practice needs to change. I mean, seriously, my body simply can´t do a long sirsasana without feeling super dizzy or a long sequence of standing postures without feeling that I´m about to fall. This takes us to the next point
  • Taking it easy: Everything we do in the practice has to be done with precaution, slowly and tenderly. This type of practice is an amazing opportunity to listen one self in a new way and treat ourselves with love.
  • Props are my friends: In general I use props to go deeper in my understanding of the actions in the yogasanas but, during the last couple of days, I have been using props in the restorative-relaxing way. Urdvha Dhanurasana looks impossible but some restorative backbends with the chair or bolsters feel like a massage to my spirit that´s learning how invigorating actions can be done in a gentle way.
  • Recovering the energy (or distribute it in a better way) is the mantra. Listening to the body, conscious breathing and tender (but precise) movements and actions will help us to re-build or find the energy that is missing, helping us A LOT in our day life.

During my practice, I feel that my body is tired, confuse and lost. And the energy that I usually feel moving trough myself gets stuck in my joints or, simply, is not there at all.

I have been trying different sequences every day/night (my practice today was at 04:00am) and I will share with you this sequence that I found that it was made for jet lag. Here you have the adaptation I did of it for my own needs:

1.- Virasana

2.- Supta Virasana on bolster with support for the head

3.- Baddha Konasana for Supta Baddha Konasana on bolster.

4.- Padmasana

5.- Supta Padmasana  on bolster  and changing sides.

6.- Uttanasana, with support for the crown of the head.

7.- Adho Mukha Svanasana with support for the head.

8.- Sirsasana: I stayed something around three minutes, I felt super dizzy but my body was “waking up” slowly.

9.- “Rope I”

10.- Salamba Sarvangasana and part of it´s cycle: Eka and Parsva eka pada sarvangasana, Supta konasana, Parsva halsana and Halasana: I added this because it´s a posture where I feel good and I can go deeper on it,  keeping the actions but, at the same time, enjoying the “refresh” that the posture brings.

Forward bends with support for both the pelvis and the head feel really good! Also very gentle twisting actions with the help of the chair or the bolsters bring calm and space.

All these are just ideas since I´m talking from my own experience. I´m sure that, if you have been practicing for a while, you will be able to understand and listen what your body is telling you and there´s a big chance that, your needs will be different from mine.

If you don´t know what to do I absolutely recommend you to find a teacher who can guide you properly.

They estimate that the “recovery rate is one day per time zone crossed. That gives me at least two more days, although I already feel a little more adapted to the rhythm of the mountains, the most important thing is that I feel happy and grateful to be learning from this experience.

Time Zones of the World, from Wikipedia.
Time Zones of the World, from Wikipedia.

New cycle.

It´s been a while since my last updated in my website and now, after 6 weeks in Chile, my homeland, I just came back to the mountains and to the fresh smell of the summer, with a completely new energy.

During my time in Chile, I felt like meeting myself again in this place that it´s full of people that knows me for so long and that loves me no matter what. My family and friends were showing me with love what´s left of me after the movement of the last year and half. Long and honest talks, hugs of infinite love and whole evenings doing nothing more than be there, left me with a feeling of gratitude and a sensation that, all the external movement is nothing more than an opportunity to let fall all the things that are not yours in the way, until you see yourself again and you realize that, instead of being far away, you are closer.

Closer to what?

Closer to That.

Listening to the sunset.
Listening to the sunset.

I took some days for myself and went to the beach and rediscovered meditation.

During those days, a friend of mine shared THIS link on facebook. If you are interested in meditation and Buddhism, please read it. It will be good for you. Read it also if you are interested in happiness (who is not interested in happiness?).

I´m sure it will inspire you too.

The Real Big Picture. The Overview Effect.

Throughout last week, thank to small and beautiful events, one after the other, I felt very strongly that everything is connected in a magic way that makes everything look like an amazing dream. I can not describe it, it’s just that feeling that I belong to something bigger, there is no words in my lips, there is no image in my mind, it is just that feeling in my heart.

It´s like tuned myself into a bigger wave of sounds and emotions that go beyond my little and -at the same time- important ego. Under this feeling, the ego seems more like an antenna, asking myself: where do you want to be tuned?

If you don´t know what I´m talking about, there´s a big chance that this movie will help you to understand it.

If you know, this movie will take you deeper!

Please take 20 minutes and give this gift to yourself.

It´s so beautiful that they talk about Samadhi.

Samadhi is the “goal” of the yoga practice, the “goal” of any spiritual practice. Subject and Object become one. Man and Earth.

For many years I imagined Samadhi as a mental golden room where everything fit perfectly, where, all the elements of life, were in a fluid order. Today, my idea of Samadhi has to do much more with just being alive. No room, no golden, no order whatsoever. The smiling chaos of life. The Dance.

A couple of weeks ago I was very confused and sad asking myself: what do I need to do with my life? The answer was so simple that my “sophisticated” mind couldn´t understand it: LIVE!

Today I feel that there´s no secret. That, there´s nowhere to go to find “the truth” because she is there, the whole time, every second.

There are things that are so close, that we don´t see them. Like the Earth herself.

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I can see you.

Maybe, as Edgar Mitchell says in the movie, when we finish all the things that we must and have to do, we can take a moment to look outside and think about what we see, what we are and, instead of having questions, just open ourselves into that observation.

Maybe, being open is an answer.

What do you think?

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Interconnection. Samadhi.

Please check the other movies that Planetary Collective have done since 2011 when they started the project. Both of them (“Unsual Choices” and a movie about the artist-calligrapher Tashi Manoox), will leave you with a feeling that there are many beautiful things in life. That changes are welcome and that feeling connected with the others, with the Earth, with your own inner self, seem to work as a vortex that takes you in a deep and amazing trip. Because we already are in a ship. The most beautiful one.

I can´t wait to see Continuum!