The Unknown.

For many years, I thought that the unknown was something, a “place”, outside of me. Happily, everything changes.

Yesterday, I came back from the 2013 National Iyengar Yoga Convention in Voiron, France. From Friday we were experiencing ourselves through the practice guided by the master of the ceremony: Zubin Zarthoshtimanesh who has been studying with Guruji since he was a kid and who – with his wife Parizad- also run the Iyengar Yogabhyasa School in Mumbay.

Zubin and Corine Biria, who translated into French.
Zubin and Corine Biria.
Poster of the Convention.
Poster of the Convention.

We had two days and a half to realize our mistakes. Now, it´s in our hands to see if we´re going to be able to change them… That´s  a small part of the transformative power of yoga: From the over-experience of our own body, we can realize our lack of sensibility. Through the practice we develop the sensibility and awareness we need and the practice change to something close to an endless journey that takes us from the comfort found in everything we think we know to the completely alive and scary unknown.

Like the Upanishads say:

“Lead Us From the Unreal To the Real,
Lead Us From Darkness To Light,
Lead Us From Death To Immortality,
Let There Be Peace Peace Peace”

Inner space rockets.
Inner space rockets.

If you know a little bit of my story, you know that during last year my life changed completely because I fell in love and I decided to leave my nice, quiet and happy life in Chile to follow my love. We were traveling during eight months and this blog born as a way to share all of those overwhelming feelings that started to grow inside of me due to this new experience.

I left everything I knew to go into the unknown. And it was hard and amazing.

For many years, my dear master José María Vigar, always tried to make me work better from my back body. He tried to move my awareness from outside-in; he tried to teach me how to go deeper in my practice… But  today I think that, no matter how hard I (and he) tried, the truth is that I wasn´t ready to feel it.

I believe that what happens outside is a reflex of what happen inside. And vice versa. Everything is interconnected, you know.

Today, I see that what happened last year aparently outside was making me more sensitive to be able to touch the unknown inside of my little tiny own body. My own and personal spaceship.

During the last three days, I was able to touch my back body in a way I never felt before. It might sound like a simple thing. The truth is that I found the Universe inside of myself. Of course that I have many mistakes to correct, I need to find my own ways but, there is something that I learnt not through my mind but through my body this weekend:

The Unknown is closer than we think.

Guruji knows it. Urdhva Dhanurasana.
Guruji knows it. Urdhva Dhanurasana.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but Nobody wants to die.

Notre Dame.
Light and Darkness.

In this moment, the concept of darkness is inside my life more than ever before. Even though I´m not able to describe it perfectly, inside of me, darkness it´s related with fear and death (fear of death? Patañjali already talked about this).

I never thought much about death as during the last months. I guess seeing my boyfriend suffering for the death of his closest friends in the mountains putted me in a place I never visited before; a place where death is, literally, constantly, around the corner.

What is Death?

It´s funny, as this amazing song says: Everybody wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die!

Sometimes I feel that we are here to learn how to die. To learn how to let go everything and go deeper into the biggest unknown. Into the real unknown.

I genuinely love life. I never felt how attached I am to life until a few months ago… I loooooove to be able to stand up every morning and go out and share my life with people I love and admire, between these amazing mountains in a place full of inspiration and challenges. I love to breathe and practice every day, I love to call my mom, to see my father, brothers and sister.

But I guess I´m starting to understand that nothing has real value if we don´t understand it´s counterpart that is there creating, what we called, balance.

Samsara: The continuous flow.
Samsara: The continuous flow.

They say the wheel of life takes you in and out, up and down until you’re able to see the movement from outside; until that movement doesn´t touch you anymore.

The Mayas saw life like a spiral where everything comes back over and over, and you are able to realize that you are in a similar place, but now, the situation is a little bit more profound and your understanding of it, deeper.

I guess I was quite happy in my spiral, enjoying everything, feeling happy and bless. I don’t know how I created these significant changes in my life, but I guess that when reality expanded itself in less than the time it takes to blink an eye, these questions started to appear and I discovered that the blink was not the essential part; the essential part is the eye behind it.

Does life have a meaning by itself? It seems that we are filling our lives with meanings that make sense to us. In this moment, for me, death makes life valuable. Death is giving a complete new meaning to my life.

I´m not sure if there´s actually a battle out there between Light and Darkness. I´m not even able to clearly defined Light or Darkness. But this is true: every time that the life/death abyss opens in front of me, naturally, I calm myself down and move into my heart. Even though I´m totally alone there, is the warmest place on earth because, trough my breathing, I can connect with the Light, with the divinity inside of me.

It´s good to know that far away in the past, there already was a battle between Darkness and Light. Half of the world knows who won that battle and they spent the last five days celebrating it. In my heart, I was celebrating with them.

Happy Diwali!

Lakshmi, prosperity, value and recognition
Lakshmi, prosperity, value and recognition

EXTRA: Did you know that Obama made an official Happy Diwali greeting during the week? Quoting the Upanishads, he does a little class about what Diwali is and, somehow it´s at least optimistic –and super symbolic– to see a man that has so much power over most of the tremendous situations that the world is living these days, talking about the triumph of good over evil. Does he believes that?

Love is in the air.

A few years ago I read in a book that Inspiration comes when something is “Instilling air into…” That book was talking about the necessary enlightenment of the spirit before any human creation.

But today I found this meaning: “Immediate influence of God or a god”. Breathe has to do with God then. I thought about pranayama.

In the myths of different cultures we can find the idea of “divine breath”.

In the Greek Culture we find Athena, who gave the divine breath over Prometheus´s creation: figures made of clay.

The Bible says (Gen 2;7):

Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.

In the second chapter of Mundaka Upanishad we find:

Fire (the sky) is his head, his eyes the sun and the moon, the quarters his ears, his speech the Vedas disclosed, the wind his breath, his heart the universe; from his feet came the earth; he is indeed the inner Self of all things

God (or gods) gave us their essence at the moment of creation. Or maybe is it better to say that, at the beginning, they put life inside of us through the act of giving their own breath.

It does not matter if you believe or not in what the books are telling us. It doesn´t matter if you think of yourself as a spiritual person or as a skeptic one. The form it does not matter. I have always believed that there are more things uniting us than separating us.

For me, the important thing is that we have the opportunity to settle down and breathe. Breathe the present, breathe the moment.

Is not ours.

Prana, life, is not ours. We will have to give it back. But now, in this moment, we can do it. Breath.

You will find inspiration.