Dream theory or What happened the night before I decided to become a Yoga Instructor.

Love.
Getting ready.

I said this already: Dreams are very important for me.

One night when I was a kid, my brother Sebastian was taking care of me and when I was about to fall asleep he said to me:

-You know that some people say that they can prepare themselves for their dreams?… For example: What is your favorite game?

-I like to go to the park and get into the swings.

-So maybe, if at the moment before you go to sleep, you think a lot about swings and how happy they make you feel, you will be able to have a beautiful dream about them tonight!

My favorite game, I was 4.
My favorite game, I was 4.

I remember myself imagining swings but I didn´t dream about them that night. Despite that, the only idea that some people were able to “control” or understand better their own dreams absolutely fascinated me.

Some years after that, I “studied” my own dreams for three or four years and, from that experience, I can say that there are different types of dreams. Here is my theory:

There are some dreams that doesn´t mean anything: dreams where you see the people that you saw that day, when you see yourself doing the things you did that day. Nothing important.

There are some other dreams that always return; in my case I have a recurring nightmare: I always dream that I´m teaching a class and then, suddenly, I lose my voice. It´s always very stressful but, since I´ve dreaming about this for years, every time that happens now, I ask myself if I´m dreaming and… I always am.

There are some premonitory dreams. In my case, these always come to me as awesome déjà vus.

And, finally, there are those dreams that are more than dreams. You feel them like messages that are coming here to tell you something IMPORTANT. Messages that you can´t ignore. In my case, these dreams are always FULL of amazing symbolic things and characters. Full of amazing sensations, colors and in the morning when I wake up, I always feel like I never went to sleep. It feels like going to another place. I have had five or six dreams like these in my life.

Dreams as messages
Dreams as messages

Thanks to a dream I decided to become a yoga instructor:

I dreamt that I was walking outside a building that looked like an art gallery, It was all white and with huge windows. The tree leaves were somewhere between yellow and red. It was autumn. But it was a warm day.

I entered the building and there was a big room full of people. Everyone was there to take a yoga class: I didn´t like the sensation of being in that room; I didn´t like the people there so I moved to a corner where I found space for myself. This corner was in front of a big window and I could clearly see a tree full of red leaves in front of me.

At the moment I started my yoga practice all the people disappeared.

I was by myself in a huge space, practicing in front of this tree.

I was doing Vrksasana, the Tree pose (this can sound funny but today is the first time I see a connection between the tree that I was looking and the tree that I was practicing).

I was standing on my left leg, with my arms over the head in Urdhva Namaskarasana when, suddenly, I realized that there was someone in front of me.

Vrksasana, Tree pose.
Vrksasana, Tree pose.

It was a Ninja.

Totally covered with her black outfit I could see in her eyes that she was a woman.

I was standing in my asana the whole time, I wasn´t afraid.

She bended down in front of me and she took her saber of her back and it happened that it wasn´t a weapon, it was a big rounded paintbrush full of Indian ink. With this paintbrush, she began to draw something in front of my feet.

It was a big OM symbol.

Very simple, very deep.
Very simple, very deep.

I went out of my posture slowly. I was deeply moved. Very humbly, she offered me her paintbrush. Very humbly, I moved forward to receive it.

I took the paintbrush in my hand and when I look at it, I saw it transforming into a beautiful silver dagger.

The next morning, I abandoned literature.

Have you ever had a dream that changed your life?

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This moment is perfect.

There´s something about the occasions I felt I was “right”: I never learnt anything.

There was always my ego -the worst part of it- feeling really good, but actually myself (the part of me that I identify as the “real” me) wasn´t there at all. There was this image of myself, following all the concepts I already knew perfectly, but there wasn´t anything new, any risk, any challenge or any healing. Even though I´m a person for whom it’s really easy to make others feel good. For me it’s really easy to “see” where I can help others to be better, or to grow, or to “complete” themselves, if you know what I mean.

My challenge is a lot about how to show myself the way to “improve me” in the places of myself I´m not aware of at all.

This is a way of seeing life.

And, my way of seeing life has a lot to do with my yoga practice. It is about discovering myself in every corner of my behavior, in every moment; in the present, in the past, in the future. And, after that, being able to see the patrons behind that, and to see the way of not cheating myself at all.

I´m wondering if that is really possible at all: To be able to see myself completely and don´t feel that I’m “betraying” myself being the way I am.

Even though for me, life has a lot to do with “educating” myself, I really would like to feel good the way I am. Understanding that there is a lot I have to change and to improve, but feeling good, feeling confidence about myself, knowing that, inside of myself, hides the diamond that every soul is having.

Inside of our little body hides God. Our little way of expressing it, is sacred. Even though I have to learn, and change so many things, in this moment, my behavior is sacred.

Dream

Last night I dreamt that I was in India. I was practicing in the RIMYI but, of course –as always in dreams-, the school looked totally different from what it is in “reality”.

It was a bigger place but still very indian style. As in reality, there were plenty of people and the classes were full.

I was practicing marichyasana IV. The practice was really difficult for me, I had a lot of pain and sometimes I felt angry. After what it seemed like a lot of time, I was able to it.

My friend Cristóbal was in my dream –I meet him in India last year- and he came to me after the practice and he told me that his car had been stolen. And I told him: Your Chilean car, why you brought your car here!?

After the chatting we went to the main room to hear Guruji´s lecture of that day.

More than a lecture; it was almost like a conversation, very friendly and relaxed. We sat in first row. Guruji was full of life and younger than reality. As always very happy; the easy smile which characterizes him was always there.  

Suddenly he started to talk about marichyasana IV. He was talking about how we have to do the posture in our daily practice and he said that he looked at me before, during the practice.

I don´t remember the details but, in the dream, I felt like a little girl.

It is the third time that I have a dream where Guruji appears.

It was a kind of important dream not because of the symbols on it but because of the feeling that I had on it.

It was a feeling that I know perfectly. This feeling was my natural response in many circumstances during my whole life. Is a feeling that mixed embarrassment and cuteness.

But now that feeling is changing.

In recent weeks I felt really unstable.  Everything was moving around me and I was in the middle, feeling the adrenaline of it: The roller coaster called Arctic Circle –that´s how I like to called it-. I was afraid, seeing disappear all the things that were certainties for many years. All the bases of the structure that I considered as “myself” were being bombed.  So I had to jump out of my own little tower.

It would be silly of me to think that now I´m in a stable terrain but, at least, I feel that I´m starting to feel different inside.  

In the end, no matter the tower, my skin was permeable and after taking my own time –as in the yoga practice- is, inside of me, in the safest place I know, where things started to settle down.

Arcan16