Sunday video :)

So, what´s the trick?

Advertisements

Transform yourself and eliminate the bullshit :)

8d91a09a9d468e9fabb98a9d201985

Finding yoga was, for me, the beginning of a transformation that continues until today. Even though I was pretty young, since the first moment I knew I found something significant. At the same time, I knew it needed time, practice and patience to grow up. But the seed was already in my heart.

In a slow rhythm, my practice was something that had this “in crescendo” process. Every day was longer, deeper or more intense.

I don´t know when it happened that the practice started to be a moment of deep connection with myself. I mean it´s not the same type of connection you get during a yoga class or after savasana… It´s something that goes beyond that and that now, after 11 years of practice I can see like a continuous “observing myself transforming” mode.

Observing myself made me feel bad sensations sometimes: I´m not a super self confident kind of person, I have a lot of problems finding the limit between “following the flow” and “going for it” type of attitude, I sometimes just don´t know what I want.

In the other hand, in that observation I, somehow, learnt how to accept myself without many judgments, being aware of my reactions and changes, knowing that them were there teaching me much more about myself than any verbal explanation.

The other day I saw a movie called Riding giants. The movie it´s about big/giant waves surfer and the evolution of the sport since mid ’50s until now.

The movie is about a passion that goes beyond words, a passion for doing something that not just makes you happy but gives meaning to the fact of being alive (or dead).

It´s not rational at all. It´s something that it´s there in your guts or not.

Sometimes something happens in life: Maybe you had an accident, lost your job or someone you loved. Maybe you found a new practice or routine that makes you feel better. Sometimes there´s a breaking point that makes your life upside down and it´s not easy to discover that this is an opportunity to transform yourself. Sometimes its something dramatic, sometimes it comes in waves.

In the movie, Mark Renneker (who is a surfer and a doctor working with cancer patients), said something that touched my heart.

He said: “One of the things I love a about my work as a physician (…) is to see what often takes place which is transformation, they just begin to sort of eliminate the bullshit and they begin to actually live, almost for the first time. Those kinds of life changing events can come from illness, they can come from revelation, they can come for me, in a way, from big wave surfing.”

Eliminating the bullshit is the only way we have to make ourselves lighter. And I think it´s easy to realize that it´s full of bullshit everywhere but most of it, it´s in our heads. Distrust, taboos, the fear of change, our own mental square structures and all the things that are there, stopping us from doing what we want to do.

We can do it in the way we want, Dr. Rekenner found surf, I found yoga but I´m finding new things every day: The sunlight trough my window or the smile of a kid, the moving tail of a dog, the sound of my favorite song or being able to touch the skin of the people I love… I use all of those things as everyday reminders.

You have to have something inside if you want to start to empty yourself. And yes, even though we think there´s nothing, there is always something. No-thing it is Some-thing.

I don´t know what´s the meaning of life. I don´t even know if it has any sense being standing on two legs in this planet moving in the corner of the galaxy but there´s one thing that feels real for me and that it´s this voice in my head telling me: Don´t be afraid, remove the bullshit, make the package lighter and try to find the answers for the questions that you have in your heart.

All the rest will come.

NO MORE DRAMA (part 1)

Tumblr_lngkvlbltp1qz6f9yo1_500

I.-2 Yoga citta vritti nirodha.

We know that yoga -by definition- talks about being able to stop the movements of the mind, the “waves of thoughts” that are coming constantly.

Sometimes, we are under those waves. Sometimes, we are over them.

So, if thoughts are like the ocean they, simply, are there.

You can´t actually “fight” against them but you can take your board (in this case your own little body) and, with humbleness and an open heart, go there and try to learn how to “surf”.

For me, being under the waves of thoughts its being beneath them, feeling that you are truly drowning, about to lose all your hope (oxygen), “under” those thoughts that are self destructive and that are able to transform your life into a big mental fucking drama.

For example (and these are thoughts that I´ve been having during these months):

  • Why are you doing this to me? 
  • Why am I doing this to me?
  • I´m not worthy.
  • I can´t do this.
  • I´m losing everything.
  • You are guilty for this.
  • I don´t deserve this.
  • I´m crazy, I´m a fool, I´m ——– , etc., etc.

Under the influence of those thoughts you are moving away from your own center, that center that is more about openness, compassion, love and trust than impatience, un-confidence, selfishness and irritation. I have been there, oh yes. And I can say that under the water nothing is clear. But somehow -and always in time-, a loving hand took me above the surface again and well, that simple action, putted things in perspective.

For me, Patañjali was talking a little bit about this. Maybe if you have the chance to turn yourself into an “enlightened” person, you will be able to not-think at all but, for an extra-normal person like me, Patañjali was telling us about being able to move over some kind of thoughts that are not helping us at all. And a big part of the yoga practice is about become more sensitive so you are able to discover those thoughts.

So, for my next crisis, I´ll have a little bit more of experience to see that behind the stormy –and dangerous- waves, there is always a calmer place to be. A place closer to your own self. Because, I don´t want to be the best “surfer” in the world, I just would like to be able to find a place to “float” maintained by the tension in the surface of the water and go with the flow… No drama but confidence and love.