I know that in days like today it seems that we don´t have enough time to do all the things we need and want to do… UNTIL we open facebook, twitter and emails…
Time flies and we are there, like witnesses.
PLEASE give yourself two hours.
And watch this through your heart.
We live at the end of the road at the foot of Mont-Blanc.
Even though behind we have the Ever White Mountain, during three months of the year our home is in the dark side since we don´t get any sun during the winter. Despite all, I like to think about it as the perfect balance: The White Mountain needs to create darkness, the taller you are the bigger your shadow is or…something like that.
Oh my god! I missed the sun!
We have a crystal hanging in one of ours windows and during last week that crystal started to bring new colors and lights to our living room, again.
It can sound like a super small detail but the fact is that I almost cried.
I´m taking a risk of sounding like a crazy person but, have you ever feel that from now on, everything is going to be better and better, no matter what?
Well, I felt that.
The sun is here, I´m feeling warm and my knee is better every day! What else can I ask for? I can´t believe that the recovery process is taking so little time and I´m REALLY happy about it. (I guess being a yogi is helping a lot not only because of the yoga therapy I´m doing for my knee but also because of the patience and awareness I have with my own body. Even though padmasana is still far away I´m really happy because I don´t have much pain and I can teach –almost- normally.)
Soon, it will be one year since I came to Europe following my heart, following Andreas´ heart also. It sounds funny but only now I feel ready to face this journey. I feel ready, full of energy, happy, confident.
I feel -like a truth inside of me- that I am free to choose how my life will be from now on: It can be a little awkward (hell is not even an option) or it can be like heaven.
Is not that I´m coming back over and over to the same subject but what happened is that in the apartment where we stayed in Berlin there was this big comic style poster on the wall that talked about Bataille, the Minotaur, mazes, being lost and the idea that we find ourselves not only because we´re lost but as lost beings.
Is not that idea that says that you have to go to unknown places to find yourself, neither that idea that says that, to be able to find yourself, first you have to be lost, Oh no…In this comic/poster the artist expressed the idea that when we start thinking about existence and what / why / how is that we ended up here, we find ourselves only in the feeling of being lost.
Or, as the comic said: One find oneself, but only as lost.
There is something disturbing about the labyrinths; maybe it has to do with this that Murakami says in one of his books: “According to current knowledge, the first who devised the concept of the maze were the ancient Mesopotamians. They tore the guts of animals, or sometimes the intestines to humans, and, according to their form, they predicted the future. They felt admiration for how complex they were. So labyrinth shape refers to the bowels. In other words, principle of the labyrinth lies in your own interior. And this corresponds to the outer labyrinth. “
At the beginning, I liked yoga because all the good things we already know: the feeling after each practice, how your body feels, the awareness that brings from outside-in: the doors of sensitivity open and a new world appears in front of you! I liked it because I felt that I was discovering something new, connecting myself with something deeper and –this was very important for me- true.
During these days I´ve been experiencing something new: The feeling that, thanks to the yoga practice, I was able to make decisions that changed my life completely, decisions that, in another moment, I never thought I was “brave” enough to take.
It seems very clear to me now, that Yoga is a path that opens new paths in front of you.
Instead of walking paths that were already there, in some strange way, you begin to walk a path that is only yours, spiritually yours.
The people you come across seem to realize this and it´s something of great value. So, the cycle continues because these same people motivate you to go a little further, to follow your intuition, your heartbeat. Is not that you will get somewhere, that´s not the important part.
The sensibility translates into independency, freedom, inner strength.
I feel really grateful to yoga –and the people around me- because of this. When I started walking it, it seemed like one big path only: “YOGA”. In this moment, it´s more like that labyrinth I saw in Berlin. And I see myself there, where many roads intersect.
Not lost -because one can be lost only if you have a place to go- but alive.