The Fool.

I feel like I´m new in everything nowadays: A beginner in life or something like that. It´s a pretty honest feeling and sometimes it´s like: “THIS IS AWESOME!!!” but sometimes it´s like “But, come on Ale, I thought you learnt something from the past!!!”

The other day we went to Vågakallen.

It is the biggest mountain around Henningsvaer and after a long walk; you can climb to the summit.

The route we did it wasn´t a difficult climb at all, perfect for me: a super beginner.

When I go with Andreas somewhere in the mountains I always feel like a child, learning from someone who knows A LOT about what he´s talking about.

At the same time, pressure and fear, make my learning process a little slower than I´m used to so I deal with a completely new picture of myself.

Nevertheless, that day we went out and I was thinking all the time: Don´t take this personal, trust yourself, do your best, enjoy.  Like a mantra. Once and again. Breathing consciously (as pranayama taught me), walking as fast as I could and following Andreas´ advices.

Until we came to this place:

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Probably between those rocks there is around 1, 1 ½ meters distance. It´s not that much if you think about it.  Andreas went there and jumped like nothing. Without thinking, just like if jumping over 40 or more meters high it´s a normal thing.

And I was like:

No way.

I can´t.

What happens if I fall?

I´m definitely not going to do this.

Andreas was there, waiting for me on the other side, while I was dealing with myself divided between the fear of jumping, the fear of falling and the fear of being trapped for hours on that rock.

Andreas was VERY nice.

He was there trying to communicate me that it wasn´t that dangerous and that I needed to trust my feet and legs.

In my mind, all the time: No way, I can´t.

Andreas took some precautions while I was there thinking and thinking, saying: Ale, you can do this… One, two… NO I CAN´T!

We were there around 15 minutes, (Andreas says it was between 30 minutes and one hour but, for me time flew faster than ever!!!) Anyway, dealing with yourself and your fears it´s not that easy and, in other conditions, definitely, takes more than 30 minutes.

Until I jumped.

And –since I´m writing this- I survived.

That experience was, by far, one of the most important moments in my life: Taking the chance of doing something even though your mind it´s telling you that there is no way you can do it.

Sometimes in yoga it´s like that.  At the beginning it can be the opposite: your mind saying “Of course I can do that, it seems simple”, but then your body don´t answer. After a few years of practice, when you have to do something new, your mind is more like: No way… Until your body achieves it (and your mind, suddenly, silent.)

On the other side of the jump there was Andreas and I realized why I love him so much.  Also I realized how good he is in what he does. And how much I trust him.

I did the jump, yes, but he was there for me.

My brother made me realize how familiar this experience was with the “first” tarot card: The Fool.

In the regular representation of this card we can see a man standing at the edge of something that looks like a mountain with, probably, an abyss in front of him. But he doesn´t seems to be bothered by that.  Innocent and trusting in the universe, in his dog, in his feet or whatever you want, it seems that he will continue walking no matter what.

Actually, the fool is one of the “unnumbered” cards of the deck.

The fool represents the beginning of an important journey.

Maybe feeling like a beginner it´s not that bad after all. Its the fool a fool after all?

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Mens sana in corpore sano or Love your body.

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I was reading Light on Life and I found this: “On the spiritual path, you must keep your body as healthy as possible”.

Guruji´s words made me think about the Tao Te Ching, where Lao Tzu says:

What do you mean by “Accept misfortune as the human condition”?

Misfortune comes from having a body.

Without a body, how could be there misfortune?

Surrender yourself humbly; then you can be trusted to care for all things.

Love the world as your own self; then you can truly care for all things.

My boyfriend is a skier. When I met him I thought that he was some kind of weird and amazing monk of the mountains. He has a really singular point of view about life and -if I keep the fact that I love him apart-, his way of living its actually, pretty special and deep.

I am a yoga practitioner, not an athlete. I don´t think of my practice as “training”. I don´t want to develop better or more difficult asanas because I want to have a perfect body, if I want to become better its because of something different.

In yoga we use our bodies as a tool to go deeper into ourselves. Regardless the style of yoga we practice, we use our muscles, tissues, bones, joints, skin and cells to investigate ourselves, our origins, our goals… The practice gives our lives a new and deeper sense.

During these months I have learned that there are plenty of athletes doing amazing things with their bodies, that actually have a really spiritual point of view about life. They are not “yogis” but they have been there, studying their bodies, their reactions, going beyond their fears, developing discipline and taking care of themselves in a special way. In some way they have been there learning how to go beyond everything we know with the only tool we have. They have been there loving “themselves” facing -internally and externally- the darkness and the light, the loneliness, the hope, the strength… in two words facing THEIR MIND. Because if you want to be a really good athlete –and a very good yogi- you have to learn how to deal with your mind, otherwise you will be playing games –mind games- all the time.

Of course there are plenty of superficial yogis –under some eyes probably I am one of those- and also maybe, there are plenty of athletes that are doing what they do in a shallow way. But, for me, it has been something really beautiful to discover the connection between things that, at first sight, seemed to be apart.

I don´t have the answer for anything, but I have a body that can lead me to know my own mysteries. And probably, if I take care of my body and learn how to treat it with respect and love, my mind will open to see life with different eyes. Eyes that beautifully, aren´t physical anymore.