In this moment, the concept of darkness is inside my life more than ever before. Even though I´m not able to describe it perfectly, inside of me, darkness it´s related with fear and death (fear of death? Patañjali already talked about this).
I never thought much about death as during the last months. I guess seeing my boyfriend suffering for the death of his closest friends in the mountains putted me in a place I never visited before; a place where death is, literally, constantly, around the corner.
What is Death?
It´s funny, as this amazing song says: Everybody wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die!
Sometimes I feel that we are here to learn how to die. To learn how to let go everything and go deeper into the biggest unknown. Into the real unknown.
I genuinely love life. I never felt how attached I am to life until a few months ago… I loooooove to be able to stand up every morning and go out and share my life with people I love and admire, between these amazing mountains in a place full of inspiration and challenges. I love to breathe and practice every day, I love to call my mom, to see my father, brothers and sister.
But I guess I´m starting to understand that nothing has real value if we don´t understand it´s counterpart that is there creating, what we called, balance.
They say the wheel of life takes you in and out, up and down until you’re able to see the movement from outside; until that movement doesn´t touch you anymore.
The Mayas saw life like a spiral where everything comes back over and over, and you are able to realize that you are in a similar place, but now, the situation is a little bit more profound and your understanding of it, deeper.
I guess I was quite happy in my spiral, enjoying everything, feeling happy and bless. I don’t know how I created these significant changes in my life, but I guess that when reality expanded itself in less than the time it takes to blink an eye, these questions started to appear and I discovered that the blink was not the essential part; the essential part is the eye behind it.
Does life have a meaning by itself? It seems that we are filling our lives with meanings that make sense to us. In this moment, for me, death makes life valuable. Death is giving a complete new meaning to my life.
I´m not sure if there´s actually a battle out there between Light and Darkness. I´m not even able to clearly defined Light or Darkness. But this is true: every time that the life/death abyss opens in front of me, naturally, I calm myself down and move into my heart. Even though I´m totally alone there, is the warmest place on earth because, trough my breathing, I can connect with the Light, with the divinity inside of me.
It´s good to know that far away in the past, there already was a battle between Darkness and Light. Half of the world knows who won that battle and they spent the last five days celebrating it. In my heart, I was celebrating with them.
EXTRA: Did you know that Obama made an official Happy Diwali greeting during the week? Quoting the Upanishads, he does a little class about what Diwali is and, somehow it´s at least optimistic –and super symbolic– to see a man that has so much power over most of the tremendous situations that the world is living these days, talking about the triumph of good over evil. Does he believes that?