I.-2 Yoga citta vritti nirodha.
We know that yoga -by definition- talks about being able to stop the movements of the mind, the “waves of thoughts” that are coming constantly.
Sometimes, we are under those waves. Sometimes, we are over them.
So, if thoughts are like the ocean they, simply, are there.
You can´t actually “fight” against them but you can take your board (in this case your own little body) and, with humbleness and an open heart, go there and try to learn how to “surf”.
For me, being under the waves of thoughts its being beneath them, feeling that you are truly drowning, about to lose all your hope (oxygen), “under” those thoughts that are self destructive and that are able to transform your life into a big mental fucking drama.
For example (and these are thoughts that I´ve been having during these months):
- Why are you doing this to me?
- Why am I doing this to me?
- I´m not worthy.
- I can´t do this.
- I´m losing everything.
- You are guilty for this.
- I don´t deserve this.
- I´m crazy, I´m a fool, I´m ——– , etc., etc.
Under the influence of those thoughts you are moving away from your own center, that center that is more about openness, compassion, love and trust than impatience, un-confidence, selfishness and irritation. I have been there, oh yes. And I can say that under the water nothing is clear. But somehow -and always in time-, a loving hand took me above the surface again and well, that simple action, putted things in perspective.
For me, Patañjali was talking a little bit about this. Maybe if you have the chance to turn yourself into an “enlightened” person, you will be able to not-think at all but, for an extra-normal person like me, Patañjali was telling us about being able to move over some kind of thoughts that are not helping us at all. And a big part of the yoga practice is about become more sensitive so you are able to discover those thoughts.
So, for my next crisis, I´ll have a little bit more of experience to see that behind the stormy –and dangerous- waves, there is always a calmer place to be. A place closer to your own self. Because, I don´t want to be the best “surfer” in the world, I just would like to be able to find a place to “float” maintained by the tension in the surface of the water and go with the flow… No drama but confidence and love.