What happens when I´m not inspired.

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I used to live a very calm life in Chile. Now I´m traveling a lot and my routine is completely gone.

And I can live days like today where a big part of me is there asking: Where are you, my lovely routine?

In days like today I miss my “home”, my work, my students, the hours of practice and study. I miss my friends and walking down the street to go to work or to go anywhere.

Now, standing here, in a completely different place I can see this part of myself crying for everything I knew. I miss have the “control” in everything.

Even though I can see that this moment of my life is asking -begging- me to go with the flow because I can´t do nothing more than relax and enjoy the trip, today, I can see this part of me that is fighting against everything. This part of me that likes to feel sorry for myself, is been telling me during these days: Ale, where is your lovely routine?

Patañjali talks, really early in the Yoga sutras, about detachment.

He says: abhyāsa vairāgyābhyām tannirodhah (I.12)

There, Abhyasa means practice and Vairagya means detachment. Both of them will help us to stop the movement of our conscience.

Then, is Patañjali, in some way, asking us to be attached to the practice?

Because vairagya is a practice by itself* (I.15). And practice means in some ways routine.

I like to think that Patañjali is there, everywhere, laughing at me because I´m so confuse about everything.

When I´m not inspired I feel angry and sad. Slow and heavy. I feel the parts of myself wanting to fight against everything.

Today was a hard day.

A special occasion to learn everything I don´t want to learn.

 

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