Ok, astronomers say the universe have 13.7 billions of years, a number that it´s hard to write and much harder to understand. The thing is, if we look at things in perspective (can we actually do that?) 27 laps around the sun –my life- does not mean too much, does it?
Sometimes it´s hard for me to stay in the present and I don´t know nothing about the future… This can make me feel anxious. But when I think of this idea that life –my life- can be understood as a blink of an eye in the history of the universe, all anxiety disappears behind this overwhelming feeling that I find whispering in my ear: Ale, everything will change, everything will pass, can you believe it?
It is very complex for my mind to assimilate this idea. Maybe it is because my ego is part of my mind, that part who believes everything revolves around him, that take´s all personal, that part who likes to fight, the part that finds really difficult to surrender.
But for that subtle layer that is further back in my mind – in the inner self, the soul, the spirit, or whatever you want to call it- that part which uses emotions as tools to understand the events in life, feels that all is well and assume this truth without whining, allowing a new question to enter: if everything will change and pass, is there anything that will last forever? Which are the important things in life?
I don´t have the answers, but I have my answers, the ones that work for me now.
If I think of the things I want a long list appear in my mind. But what happened when the question changed? What about the things I need?
OMG, my mind is empty –and it´s not because of enlightenment-.
The only thing I can think of is that maybe I need something, someone who can show me what I need to be better person, to evolved, to grow up –and in- but then I realized that all the time I´ve been surrounded by those type of persons. At the beginning –and now- there were my parents, my brothers and sister of soul, my friends. My beautiful grandmother. My soul mate. They are always here holding my hand showing me, sometimes with tenderness, sometimes with non-selfish anger what´s the way out of my messy mind.
Those are relationships where words doesn´t work because the important things can´t be put in words. Relationships where connection goes beyond the place and the moment, where we learn from each other and, even though our ways seem to be separated, they are united by invisible and everlasting bonds. Those are the persons who guide you -or sometimes you guide-, the same ones who in a different moment will walk with you holding you hand.
Those persons I need. Because with them I go beyond my own emotional and physical boundaries, expanding myself trough the only thing I feel eternal: love.
27 laps around the sun doesn´t seem too much but then, if I think again, I realize the simplicity behind the blessing that has meant to be alive.