I guess it was during the first month of practice when my teacher talked about ahimsa.
What is this?
Is he talking about taking care of myself?
Treat me with love?
This new concept, this thing that my teacher was asking from me really blew my mind. It was something that no one -never ever- asked me to do before.
Raised in a catholic family, I knew a lot about the importance of taking care for others, feel compassion, “stand in the others feet”. But now there was this man asking me to turn it upside down. Outside in. From the others to myself.
A big journey started: A journey where I was, for the first time, aware of the feelings I felt about myself.
The thing that impressed me most was to actually see how violent I was with myself. How rude, impatient and extremely hard. It was during the hours of practice when I began to treat myself with tenderness, love and patience. In those moments I started to be warm with myself.
Slowly this little change in my point of view began to permeate all other aspects of my person.
I saw clearly, for example, how my idea of success changed outright. Now it had not to do with exceling, go faster than the others or winning something. Now success was just being there, aware of myself, feeling and taking care of myself, facing things at my own pace, being faithful to myself. Inhaling and exhalingnot just in my hours of practice but every time.
After this period observing all those changes, a new question came:
So, if I treat myself this way, how am I with the others?
Everything started all over again because all the love I was giving to myself moved from inside out transforming me into a much more compassionate, patient, understanding person. Then, little by little, the boundaries that separated me from others were disappearing. Slowly I realized that, regardless of location, language, religion, tastes there will always be much more things uniting us than separate us.
As when we fell in love.