The Unknown.

For many years, I thought that the unknown was something, a “place”, outside of me. Happily, everything changes.

Yesterday, I came back from the 2013 National Iyengar Yoga Convention in Voiron, France. From Friday we were experiencing ourselves through the practice guided by the master of the ceremony: Zubin Zarthoshtimanesh who has been studying with Guruji since he was a kid and who – with his wife Parizad- also run the Iyengar Yogabhyasa School in Mumbay.

Zubin and Corine Biria, who translated into French.

Zubin and Corine Biria, who translated into French.

Poster of the Convention.

Poster of the Convention.

We had two days and a half to realize our mistakes. Now, it´s in our hands to see if we´re going to be able to change them… That´s  a small part of the transformative power of yoga: From the over-experience of our own body, we can realize our lack of sensibility. Through the practice we develop the sensibility and awareness we need and the practice change to something close to an endless journey that takes us from the comfort found in everything we think we know to the completely alive and scary unknown.

Like the Upanishads say:

“Lead Us From the Unreal To the Real,
Lead Us From Darkness To Light,
Lead Us From Death To Immortality,
Let There Be Peace Peace Peace”

Inner space rockets.

Inner space rockets.

If you know a little bit of my story, you know that during last year my life changed completely because I fell in love and I decided to leave my nice, quiet and happy life in Chile to follow my love. We were traveling during eight months and this blog born as a way to share all of those overwhelming feelings that started to grow inside of me due to this new experience.

I left everything I knew to go into the unknown. And it was hard and amazing.

For many years, my dear master José María Vigar, always tried to make me work better from my back body. He tried to move my awareness from outside-in; he tried to teach me how to go deeper in my practice… But  today I think that, no matter how hard I (and he) tried, the truth is that I wasn´t ready to feel it.

I believe that what happens outside is a reflex of what happen inside. And vice versa. Everything is interconnected, you know.

Today, I see that what happened last year aparently outside was making me more sensitive to be able to touch the unknown inside of my little tiny own body. My own and personal spaceship.

During the last three days, I was able to touch my back body in a way I never felt before. It might sound like a simple thing. The truth is that I found the Universe inside of myself. Of course that I have many mistakes to correct, I need to find my own ways but, there is something that I learnt not through my mind but through my body this weekend:

The Unknown is closer than we think.

Guruji knows it. Urdhva Dhanurasana.

Guruji knows it. Urdhva Dhanurasana.

The Real Big Picture. The Overview Effect.

Throughout last week, thank to small and beautiful events, one after the other, I felt very strongly that everything is connected in a magic way that makes everything look like an amazing dream. I can´t describe it, it’s just that feeling that I belong to something bigger, there´s no words in my lips, there´s no image in my mind, it´s just that feeling in my heart.

It´s like tuned myself into a bigger wave of sounds and emotions that go beyond my little and -at the same time- important ego. Under this feeling, the ego seems more like an antenna, asking myself: where do you want to be tuned?

If you don´t know what I´m talking about, there´s a big chance that this movie will help you to understand it.

If you know, this movie will take you deeper!

Please take 20 minutes and give this gift to yourself.

It´s so beautiful that they talk about Samadhi.

Samadhi is the “goal” of the yoga practice, the “goal” of any spiritual practice. Subject and Object become one. Man and Earth.

For many years I imagined Samadhi as a mental golden room where everything fit perfectly, where, all the elements of life, were in a fluid order. Today, my idea of Samadhi has to do much more with just being alive. No room, no golden, no order whatsoever. The smiling chaos of life. The Dance.

A couple of weeks ago I was very confused and sad asking myself: what do I need to do with my life? The answer was so simple that my “sophisticated” mind couldn´t understand it: LIVE!

Today I feel that there´s no secret. That, there´s nowhere to go to find “the truth” because she is there, the whole time, every second.

There are things that are so close, that we don´t see them. Like the Earth herself.

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I can see you.

Maybe, as Edgar Mitchell says in the movie, when we finish all the things that we must and have to do, we can take a moment to look outside and think about what we see, what we are and, instead of having questions, just open ourselves into that observation.

Maybe, being open is an answer.

What do you think?

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Interconnection. Samadhi.

Please check the other movies that Planetary Collective have done since 2011 when they started the project. Both of them (“Unsual Choices” and a movie about the artist-calligrapher Tashi Manoox), will leave you with a feeling that there are many beautiful things in life. That changes are welcome and that feeling connected with the others, with the Earth, with your own inner self, seem to work as a vortex that takes you in a deep and amazing trip. Because we already are in a ship. The most beautiful one.

I can´t wait to see Continuum!

Dream theory or What happened the night before I decided to become a Yoga Instructor.

Love.

Getting ready.

I said this already: Dreams are very important for me.

One night when I was a kid, my brother Sebastian was taking care of me and when I was about to fall asleep he said to me:

-You know that some people say that they can prepare themselves for their dreams?… For example: What is your favorite game?

-I like to go to the park and get into the swings.

-So maybe, if at the moment before you go to sleep, you think a lot about swings and how happy they make you feel, you will be able to have a beautiful dream about them tonight!

My favorite game, I was 4.

My favorite game, I was 4.

I remeber myself imagining swings but I didn´t dream about them that night. Despite that, the only idea that some people was able to “control” or understand better their own dreams absolutely fascinated me.

Some years after that, I “studied” my own dreams for three or four years and, from that experience, I can say that there are different types of dreams. Here is my theory:

There are some dreams that doesn´t mean anything: dreams where you see the people that you saw that day, when you see yourself doing the things you did that day. Nothing important.

There are some other dreams that always return; in my case I have a recurring nightmare: I always dream that I´m teaching a class and then, suddenly, I lose my voice. It´s always very stressful but, since I´ve dreaming about this for years, every time that happens now, I ask myself if I´m dreaming and… I always am.

There are some premonitory dreams. In my case, these always come to me as awesome déjà vus.

And, finally, there are those dreams that are more than dreams. You feel them like messages that are coming here to tell you something IMPORTANT. Messages that you can´t ignore. In my case, these dreams are always FULL of amazing symbolic things and characters. Full of amazing sensations, colors and in the morning when I wake up, I always feel like I never went to sleep. It feels like going to another place. I have had five or six dreams like these in my life.

Dreams as messages

Dreams as messages

Thanks to a dream I decided to become a yoga instructor:

I dreamt that I was walking outside a building that looked like an art gallery, It was all white and with huge windows. The tree leaves were somewhere between yellow and red. It was autumn. But it was a warm day.

I entered the building and there was a big room full of people. Everyone was there to take a yoga class. I didn´t like the sensation of being in that room, I didn´t like the people there so I moved to a corner where I found space for myself. This corner was in front of a big window and I could clearly see a tree full of red leaves in front of me.

At the moment I started my yoga practice all the people disappeared.

I was by myself in a huge space, practicing in front of this tree.

I was doing Vrksasana, the Tree pose (this can sound funny but today is the first time I see a connection between the tree that I was looking and the tree that I was practicing).

I was standing on my left leg, with my arms over the head in Urdhva Namaskarasana when, suddenly, I realized that there was someone in front of me.

Vrksasana, Tree pose.

Vrksasana, Tree pose.

It was a Ninja.

Totally covered with her black outfit I could see in her eyes that she was a woman.

I was standing in my asana the whole time.

I wasn´t afraid.

She bended down in front of me and she took her saber of her back and it happened that it wasn´t a weapon, it was a big rounded paintbrush full of Indian ink. With this paintbrush, she began to draw something in front of my feet.

It was a big OM symbol.

Very simple, very deep.

Very simple, very deep.

I went out of my posture slowly. I was deeply moved.

Very humbly, she offered me her paintbrush.

Very humbly, I moved forward to receive it.

I took the paintbrush in my hand and when I look at it, I saw it transforming into a beautiful silver dagger.

The next morning, I abandoned literature.

Have you ever had a dream that changed your life?

Travel and Gurus. Outside and Inside.

Some people say that traveling is not good for the spiritual practice. I´m thinking here in one verse (62) on The Hatha Yoga Pradipika and in some history that one friend told me about Prashantji (BKS Iyengar´s son) answering that for being a better yogi you must not travel, (I don´t know the context of the last information I´m giving  but, even though I believe that the context is very important in cases like this, I will go further anyway.)

The Hatha Yoga Pradipika is a book written around six centuries ago that focuses in the physical practice of asanas (postures) and kriyas (cleansing teachniques) as a way for transcend oneself.

Cleaning the nadis so the energy can finally move!

Cleaning the nadis so the energy can finally move!

Travel six centuries ago it was not the same as traveling today.

It probably took much more time that it takes today and this was a very clear way to lose a lot of vital energy but, when I think in Prashantji´s words –he probably said that somewhere during the last 15 years- a big contradiction grows inside of me.

In one hand there is something that is really important in the Yoga tradition and it´s basically that: TRADITION. In a short way this means that the practice must be inside of a lineage, that´s exactly why the Guru is SO important. It´s not that he/she is there just to keep you humble, oh no, it´s something bigger than that: He/She is there showing you a path that he/she already walked. Sometimes as a very present energy that guides you all the way, sometimes just as an observer that lets you discover for yourself, reaching you when you have gone too far.

Having a Guru is a very important element in every spiritual tradition.                                 But, what happens when the Guru is not close?                                                                      Well, basically, you travel to find it.

On the other hand, and I will talk here about my own personal intimate experience, one thing that happens when you travel is that you get very amazed by the outer world.

There are so many beautiful places out there, full of different things to look and to do, full of different flavors, colors and energies and, somehow, all of this influences oneself. The indriyas (senses) are so happy when we travel!

Those same senses are the tools we need to turn inwards (pratyahara), to go inside.

When everything is new outside it´s hard to concentrate in the inside. At the same time, I believe it´s a very honest way of challenge yourself because, everything  is new all the time, it doesn´t matter if you travel or not.

Maybe, traveling in the world can be seen as a preparation –or as a reflex?- for traveling in your inner world. If you learn how to be outside, maybe it will be easy to just be, inside.

Turning everything upside down.

Turning everything upside down.

Maybe, after traveling in the outside world, you realize this that Rumi said better that anyone:

You have no need to travel anywhere – journey within yourself. Enter a mine of rubies and bathe in the splendor of your own Light.
Inside. Or outside?

Inside. Or outside?

BTW: After an amazing weekend in the incredibly beautiful northern part of Sweden teaching for the people in the Haglöfs Artic Weekend I´m now in Marseille enjoying amazing yoga lessons with the super gentle Senior teacher Sthéphane Lalo, observing myself and the beautiful spring that finally arrived, at the same time. I will write more about this but, meanwhile, maybe you´re able to find some photos of these moments HERE!

My dream from last night.

Playing with my friend Valeska,. Like in the dream!

Playing with my friend Valeska. Like in the dream!

Last night I dreamt that I was in Rishikesh with my lovely friends Rebeca and Valeska. We were walking on the crazy streets close to the Ganges river. We were happy! The city was full of life and we walked there enjoying each other and everything around us. We walked until the sun came down over the horizon…

Suddenly, many planes started to flight over the city. It was noisy and everyone became alert.   From the airplanes small bombs began to drop. Thousands of them.

In the earth, there was no more than half a meter between two bombs… It was full of them, there was nowhere to run.

Silence captured all.

“Wow, this is crazy. I will die with my friends in a bombing in Rishikesh”. I thought.

Finally, the bombs began to explode.

And they were no bombs, THEY WERE FIREWORKS!

There was nothing to be afraid of!

There was nothing to be afraid of!

Dreams are very important for me.

I wrote my dreams for about two years “training” myself to remember and analyze them. All of this that I´m living now started because of a dream: I decided to leave university and find a good yoga teacher training after an amazing dream I had.

During the last year I haven´t dream so much and for me that was sad. At the same time, inside of me, I knew that dreams would return… Last night´s dream was perfect.

There are many things that look like bombs in my life right now.

I feel threatened.

I have the feeling that this can be like the work you do in a mine. There´s no other choice: I will detonate all the bombs to find that treasure hidden inside.

A treasure that´s from myself, to myself.

My bombs about to explode!

My bombs about to explode!

Sunny happiness.

We live at the end of the road at the foot of Mont-Blanc.

Even though behind we have the Ever White Mountain, during three months of the year our home is in the dark side since we don´t get any sun during the winter. Despite all, I like to think about it as the perfect balance: The White Mountain needs to create darkness, the taller you are the bigger your shadow is or…something like that.

Oh my god! I missed the sun!

We have a crystal hanging in one of ours windows and during last week that crystal started to bring new colors and lights to our living room, again.

It can sound like a super small detail but the fact is that I almost cried.

I´m taking a risk of sounding like a crazy person but, have you ever feel that from now on, everything is going to be better and better, no matter what?

Well, I felt that.

Colors in our kitchen!

Colors in our kitchen!

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Here comes the sun!

The sun is here, I´m feeling warm and my knee is better every day! What else can I ask for? I can´t believe that the recovery process is taking so little time and I´m REALLY happy about it. (I guess being a yogi is helping a lot not only because of the yoga therapy I´m doing for my knee but also because of the patience and awareness I have with my own body. Even though padmasana is still far away I´m really happy because I don´t have much pain and I can teach –almost- normally.)

Spring, I feel you!

Spring, I feel you!

Soon, it will be one year since I came to Europe following my heart, following Andreas´ heart also. It sounds funny but only now I feel ready to face this journey. I feel ready, full of energy, happy, confident.

I feel -like a truth inside of me- that I am free to choose how my life will be from now on: It can be a little awkward (hell is not even an option) or it can be like heaven.

I guess you know what I will choose.

Yahuuuuu !

Life IS heaven! Yahuuuu!!!

About Yoga and being Lost.

Is not that I´m coming back over and over to the same subject but what happened is that in the apartment where we stayed in Berlin there was this big comic style poster on the wall that talked about Bataille, the Minotaur, mazes, being lost and the idea that we find ourselves not only because we´re lost but as lost beings.

Is not that idea that says that you have to go to unknown places to find yourself, neither that idea that says that, to be able to find yourself, first you have to be lost, Oh no…In this comic/poster the artist expressed the idea that when we start thinking about existence and what / why / how is that we ended up here, we find ourselves only in the feeling of being lost.

Or, as the comic said: One find oneself, but only as lost.

Detail of: "A Beyond that doesn´t take you anywhere." By Michael J. Baers

Detail of: “A Beyond that doesn´t get you anywhere.” By Michael J. Baers

There is something disturbing about the labyrinths; maybe it has to do with this that Murakami says in one of his books: According to current knowledge, the first who devised the concept of the maze were the ancient Mesopotamians. They tore the guts of animals, or sometimes the intestines to humans, and, according to their form, they predicted the future. They felt admiration for how complex they were. So labyrinth shape refers to the bowels. In other words, principle of the labyrinth lies in your own interior. And this corresponds to the outer labyrinth. “

Detail of: "A Beyond that doesn´t take you anywhere." By Michael J. Baers

Detail of: “A Beyond that doesn´t get you anywhere.” By Michael J. Baers

At the beginning, I liked yoga because all the good things we already know: the feeling after each practice, how your body feels, the awareness that brings from outside-in: the doors of sensitivity open and a new world appears in front of you! I liked it because I felt that I was discovering something new, connecting myself with something deeper and –this was very important for me- true.

During these days I´ve been experiencing something new: The feeling that, thanks to the yoga practice, I was able to make decisions that changed my life completely, decisions that, in another moment, I never thought I was “brave” enough to take.

It seems very clear to me now, that Yoga is a path that opens new paths in front of you.

Instead of walking paths that were already there, in some strange way, you begin to walk a path that is only yours, spiritually yours.

The people you come across seem to realize this and it´s something of great value. So, the cycle continues because these same people motivate you to go a little further, to follow your intuition, your heartbeat. Is not that you will get somewhere, that´s not the important part.

The sensibility translates into independency, freedom, inner strength.

I feel really grateful to yoga –and the people around me- because of this. When I started walking it, it seemed like one big path only: “YOGA”. In this moment, it´s more like that labyrinth I saw in Berlin. And I see myself there, where many roads intersect.

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Alive and happy.

Not lost -because one can be lost only if you have a place to go- but alive.

The Mesopotamians were right.

 

Spirits, family and photos.

Even though I spent one month in Berlin in September, visiting my brother and his love Virginia, the truth is that, at that moment, I weren´t sightseeing much but, last week, with my mom, we walked a lot in the city talking about life, myths, change, spirits and death.

And I took some photos:

Brandenburger Tor or where the angels spoke with God in win Wenders´ "Fareway, So Close!"

Brandenburger Tor or where the angels spoke with God in Win Wenders´ “Fareway, So Close!”

 

Memorial to the mudered Jews of Europe or why it´s important to remember the mistakes of the past.

Memorial to the mudered Jews of Europe or how a tragic moment turns into a tourist attraction.

 

The Victory is ours!

The Victory is ours!

My mom, Andreas, his family and many friends were there becuase of the Berlinale, the 63 years old film festival that characterize the city every February. My brother´s new film “GLORIA” is competing there and it was the perfect opportunity to meet them again: family, lots of friends, joy, excitement, pride and love.

Red carpets, movies, rest, walks, parties, good food, good talks, spirits (again) and, of course, yoga (especially developed for my knee).

Berlinale Palast: 1600 people, 6 floors, 1 screen. Gloria!

Berlinale Palast: 1600 people, 6 floors, 1 screen. Gloria!

And for  two hours, I had my own seat.

And for two hours, I had my own seat.

Let´s start the journey!

Let´s start the journey!

I still can feel goosebumps when I think of all the beautiful and excitement moments we had together during those days.

In this moment we are crossing not just our fingers and toes but our souls and spirits because tomorrow we will know the results of the festival.

It´s funny, maybe my brother will finish this week with a silver or golden bear but we already have unforgettable moments full of laughs and love and, who can buy that?

U2 in “Faraway, so close!”:

One thing that it´s even funnier is that we went to see this movie to the art cinema in Santiago, Chile, with my brother, my sister and my dad. It was 1995, I was 10 years old. When we went out of the cinema, my brother said: Look! An angel! , pointing a big statue in front of us. I tried to see it until I realized that it was one more of my brother´s jokes.

Life´s mysterious cicles are so beautiful. We know where they started but, who knows where they will end? Berlin seems to be just the begining. Again.